Happy Love Day

Can you believe it. It is already so far into the year, that we have and yet again a Valentines day. Will it be any different than last years?
Yes!!! I am now surrounded by peace and love. Have had one Valentines smooch (blush) already! tHAHAHA, it can only get better from here onwards!!!

Yesterday I had an emotional wobble and ultimately fall out with my soon to be ex husband. Well, I have made a case against him for assaulting me and have been yesterday subpoena to appear in court on the 01 March 2012. Lord, I was afraid!! I was angry of fear. Then in this emotion I have phoned my ex and just lashed out. Not that he did not deserve it, but it was an energy not worth dwelling upon. I know then and I know now!
Till just recently I have found out, that as a kid I have been taught, that pain is my sign of love. So I phoned my ex, to get my dose of "love". Needy love! This one is a rough one for me.Lots of work and lots of deep work!
So still, even after now good six month of moving out, there are days, when I go back and get my dose of "pain love".

How many of us are actually thinking that we need somebody or something to make us whole. To love us, so that we can love? Finding always the need to create certain situations and finding people to make us feel the way we felt when we were little. Is this truth still true? Or can we now rewrite it?
Everything which is vibrating and originating from an unhealthy need, I feel is ...NO GOOD!

Yes, of course we all love to be touched and kissed and hugged and cuddled. But let it come from a place, of knowing who we are. Let us already be filled with love and understand that we are it.
We do not need atrificial aproval of love. We do not need pain to feel loved. No more bad words.
So if you are somehow, seeing yourself and being aware that similar is happening to you - it is ok!
And this too shall pass .... LOL
Honestly, the moment you are aware that it is happening, it is ok. You are ahead already and can learn to change the need of  the needy love.

Being on this journey is wonderful and some days frustrating. As I can see and am feeling helpless that it is returning again and that I have re-acted, instead of acted.

Be gentle to yourself as I am to myself. After all, it is Valentins day - - one of 365 Valentins days this year.

Love does, what love does best ~~~~ LOVE!

Have an AWEsome day, I love you and I love me

D xox