A prayer for a kid in South Africa

Whilst am sitting here, my precious boy is sleeping on the couch. Didn't mean to blog so soon again.
My heart is bleeding and I am feeling raw, open and helpless. Cried bitter tears and as am writing . .they coming again.

Well this has happened: I had a lovely girl helping me in the house. She just turned 22 in October. I love her as she is my own and tried to support and understand her. Tried to make a difference. Why am writing TRIED, as trying often leads to failure, do not ask me why . . just is . . feel like I failed.
She has a son of now soon turning four. Yip, she has burried her mom and her grandparents in a space of two month when she was 17. In the past this girl didn't drink and was a rock in the stormy sea. Oh I admired her strenght and supported her.

Anyway, she has told me about three weeks ago, she would take on her half brother of 13, which was living with another aunt. Apparently this aunt didn't look after him. I said to her, please should you EVER feel it is too much for you, it is ok, say it and we make a plan.
I did know that there is rather a bit of monthly government support in stall for the caring family. Didn't think she would do it for cash. It is her half  brother after all.

Well, this girl has disappeared for the past two weeks. Left the brother alone, with almost no food in the house.
The other workers had to step in and up to provide some food for him and clean his clothes. He even slept alone at night in these small workers houses.

Now, of course this boy of 13 will be placed to somebody else. Another family member, as this boy is an orphan.
I was fighting today with social services NOT to place him there and to find another solution. Take him out of this valley and to give ONE child a fair chance. ONE CHILD . .just one!!!!
As there where he goes now, the aunt drinks most of the money out. It is sad, this is how it is here.

My heart is crying and screaming. The answer I have gotten from social services is, well they have to place first with family and then see further.

I have asked this "gentleman" from the social services, does a child first have to be messed up before somebody takes responsibility? Does this child first have to turn into a rapist, murderer, thief or abuse drugs?
Then, yes then the society will cry out . . . or label again.

I cannot breath!

I was just now standing outside, feel like I do not belong here on this earth.
What is happening, where are we going . .will this stop? Will this ever end??

I am asking you all out there, send a healing thought, a prayer and strenght to this little boy.
Send him love as this is what he most likely yearns for the most.

Namaste dear brothers and sisters out there.
Am sending you love and light and lightness

Do you remember?

I am sometimes wondering if I am not actually the insane one. Wondering if all those people not getting it what it is about and what is going on? How they get manipulated in staying in the dark and stay . .lets use the word S^%$%!
Get fooled by, better pay, bigger house, bigger car . . . made sure nobody escapes the rat race. Being told: if you don't have this, you are a nobody. Nobody wants you and nobody loves you.
In case there is nothing else to be afraid of, we get swine flu, or another epidemic . .all of the sudden.
Have you ever asked yourself how much of this stuff is true? How much is real?
Look to the West please. US is voting. WOOH-HO!!! Everybody busy with other peoples stuff.
They not even see nor feel it anymore. Forgotten. Who are they? Who am I?
Forgotten to feel, to breath and to think.

You see, once you start this journey how we "others"  call it. . . man you have to start dealing with lots and lots of stuff. One has to start being honest towards one self. This can get ugly.
But and this is a BIG BUT, one finds something rather interesting and very very precious.
ONE SELF. It has been hiding for a long time under several selves (I will come back to that one some other time).
Yes it has been forgotten. Before embarking on the journey, it feels to me we walking and behaving like sheep.
Just follow, will be alright.
This behaviour became just recently very clear to me. VOTING! Not that voting is not important. Do not get me wrong. But is has the same effect like the big car, the big house, the big . . .
Get it? One get so involved in that stuff, believes and does what one gets told. Is this then the true you? The true us?

So, this not knowing who we really are, is separating us from all that is. Does this make sense?
Meaning the true you. Your true lives purpose. Just everything that IS.
If you not have the feeling each and every day of pure bliss, stillness and bursting of happiness. . .you in the wrong place I am afraid.
Lots of people out there have lost their true identity. To fear most of the time. As fear if you look at it, is the prime negative feeling. Every other negative feeling originates from fear.
Angry: fear of losing control (did we ever have it??)
Jealousy, Envy and and and.

So, what do we do now. Oh very easy. Become aware of who you truly are and what your purpose is and let go of the rest ain't serving you. BAM!
One sentence - and 42 years later!! Here I am sitting and wondering why I am still where I am now and not moving.
Apparently it comes with the journey. The once in while stand still and freeze. Do not move, do not breath kind of thing.

I would like so much to wake more people up, help them see what it is really about, get them off the walking after each other sheep thing. This is painful for me to watch.
There are days, where I am not even leaving the house, as I cannot take it. No TV, no radio and no talking to anybody.

You know, this being separated is painful. Even though after years of living in this separation and not in the true self or the I AM, it becomes a save pain.
To remember who we truly are is a discovery beyond anything what one can imagine.
All just shifts. Reality, Being, Life! Just everything.
As then you will see what I am talking about: what is happening right now on Earth is not real. This pain and density, it cannot be real.
Yes yes, there are "true realists" out there, they might say this is real. yes if you wish so? So be it.

This times we are living in are special. Full of potential, full of new life, new love and a new reality.
We just need to remember. Remember who we are.
Should we get stuck . . it is ok. Don't forget to breath! Any movement will be ok.
Step out of the rat race. See what is going on. Use your own intuition.
Nobody says don't have a big car, a big house, a big salary.
But remember, this doens't define who one is. Listen and see what is true and real.
Still yourself and you will learn to listen. A guidance, a gut feeling. Follow if it feels right.
Is it a struggle or painful? Let go-IMMEDIATELY!!! 

Just as well, a ruling party is not who we are. It is an institution. It suppose to lead. To bring peace. To show the way and to unite. Not only when disaster strikes, or at a World Cup or Olympics. Every day.
Sadly I am observing, that these so called leaders, separating people even more. Showing false pictures and telling us who we are and spreading fear. So already an inner separation exists and more coming from outside. Almost like . . stay in the dark people, as when you are in fear we can raise the electricity bills, the VAT the  . .whatever!!
Not often one gets leaders like Nelson Mandela.

Anyway, should you read in the papers one of these days: Woman banging peoples heads against the wall and screaming WAKE UP  . .this is me!!

Please all you out there, wake up. See what is truly going on and start making a change. As your change, will be mine and will be my sons and so on and so forth. We are all connected.
It is all out there, just open your eyes and hearts. We are all in the same boat. So even there are times, when one feels as noboy else is out there. We are. It might just be a time, where you have to make the first step, so others can walk again with you.
Let go of the fear (and the sheep thing)

Thanks for spending some time with me.
Speak soon.,

Lots of love and light and lightness on this journey