Here is my story

Today I would like to share with you my story. More kind of a short story.
Now only literally a few days away from moving to our first stop, I am edgy and filled with so many different emotions. A good six year chapter of my life is closing and I am taking with, a lot of lessons learned, new discovered gifts and passions and most of all – MY SON!
These six years past have been a journey of awakening and realization of who I truly am.
As am writing I am smiling, as it has bin a rough roller coaster ride.

You know, I think one walks into such abusive relationships with open eyes which are closed.
One knows this relationship is not right and yet one closes ones eyes, and ignores all alarms going off. I had to do this again, because my first marriage I tend to ignore the lessons, yet gained a first step in awakening and stopped. So Universe/God decided, that I was urgently needed and send me on a true boot camp with this second marriage.

Like today I remember the beginning of 2005. I have just decided to stop drinking/partying and smoking and to be for some odd reason become more mindful. There he stepped into my life in March 2005 and turned my life upside down.
From the beginning it was not ok. He drank a lot and was very very manipulative. Yes I know, alcoholics tend to be this way. I believed all his promises and walked into this marriage, almost like knowing: death row is near.
I had Oliver end of 2006. Nothing has changed. More abuse and control and manipulation.
At one stage is was so angry in my life. Woke up in the morning with a frown on my face and my mouth hanging to the ground. One could say it bordered on depression. With each day I was a bit more hopeless, a bit more sad and pushed into a life I did not want to live.
Not knowing that this was my push to where I am today.
Sad actually that humans have to learn with pain and then hopefully wake up.
Besides all the violent force in my life, I am taking so much more with me.
I could have turned bitter and sour, especially after I walked out once for a few weeks and returned back on empty promises. Yes I know, silly me. But it had to happen this way and it is ok.
Look at me today, even though the last few days and hours are a true challenge in an emotional way, it is ok too. Sounds sick doesn’t it

I have learned to be grateful, patient, open minded and hearted and to have compassion. Most of all I have learned to have faith. Live faith, breath faith and feel faith.
With this faith I am now learning to let go and live in the moment and see things as they are and take them as they are. Make choices for the now and change if I do not like it. Set my boundaries and walk my truth. I will not be violent, just because somebody else chooses it to be. I am the change. I am the change I want to see in the world.
My son will in a few days, see a mother he can look up to and copy. See how it is done. See how to be so much love, that it overflows. And see that addiction and abuse and bullying is a NO GO!
In a few days, I am out of here. Then most likely the battle of divorce and custody will start.
I have faith, that I am protected and is well. As with fear I would give my power away and succumb in the dark.

Life is amazing, despite all the turbulence. I am receiving love from so many people. Have received financial help from a friend, I never thought in my life would help me. THANK YOU!
Now I will start doing what I came to do. Write and share and be of assistance.
PLEASE, this here is intended to be an inspiration to other women and some men out there in similar circumstances. I am not a victim anymore. On the contrary, I came to shine and live my life so that others asleep, will awaken and perhaps follow. I came here in assistance to heal others and myself at the same time.
Wake up, protect yourself and step out of the fear. If I can do it ~ so can you. Violence is not an option.
Never has and never will be. One doesn’t have to walk away and leave all behind. One doesn’t. Perhaps at the beginning as my boy and I, have to live in a smaller place? But we taking our animals with.
Life is not about compromising. Adjust if YOU want to and have faith. Feel it in your heart.
With love, light and lightness
Diana x

Power And A Voice For Humanity

Dear fellow cohabitants of Planet Earth lately this whole situation here on this planet has been becoming rather confusing for me.
Let me explain. We all can see so many things going hair wire, violence, abuse, manipulation, greed, hunger, but just to name a few. Why we do not step up and stop it?
You said what? We cannot?? Sorry why?? Oh, there is a system. Good. Whose and what system? Who is this system serving? Humanity?? Are we agreeing the answer here will be a NO?!

So, why are we allowing so many thing to go “wrong”? Why do we allow to be fed with lies, why do we allow manipulation, why do we allow choices being made FOR us, why do we allow violence and abuse and so on and so forth.
What are we truly afraid of. Why are we silence, even though we feel in our core what is going on is not working anymore on this Earth plane?
Once one is awakening these things become so obvious.  One cannot help, but wanting to jump and help and make a change in 20.000 places at the same time.
It puzzles me daily that people are complaining about so many things and yet tending to ignore the fact, that they could make a change, once shaken off the fear?! They would rather ignore and wait for somebody else to take the first step. We still waiting……….

One of my not so favorite topics is this thing with “regulating” herbal medicine. Oh come on please, now somebody is telling me, they are registering the herbal medicine I grew up with, for my own safety. Please!!! Taking away my choice?
What else do we have, oh ja corruption in politics and greed. Now why do we accept that there has to be a certain list to be followed to proof that it is true? And at the end of the day, the person gets off and lots of tax payers money has been wasted. If you would be caught in your company doing the same, BAM you would be out, no questions asked. Branded for life. Wouldn’t you?

Why do we accept to be fed fear. And this on a daily basis. Big time. Yes this place right now is a scary place to live in, but fighting fear with more fear and fighting separation with creating more of it. We not going to get anywhere.

Now imagine, if we all would stand up and fight against crime and violence PEACEFULLY!
If we all would stand up as ONE and say to some leaders: sorry three warnings you out.
What could they do? Nothing.
We can be so powerful and achieving good things for our planet. Just stick together.
As the “dark” can do this with creating fear and keeps the masses controlled, so can we start sticking together as the light we are and do good and make the change.
To make things happen and stand together, we need to break free and start taking in fresh air into our lungs and cells again. Think our own thoughts and take our power back. It is after all a FREE WILL PLANET!
My choices, my life. Listen to your heart and start trusting this guiding voice inside.
At the beginning it might feel odd and people might think you crazy. “Crazy is good “
Live your life from your heart and let the warmth of love be your energy fountain.
Life is good and is peaceful we just have to choose it for oneself and for all of us.

Each and one of us has a wonderful gift. Become aware of it and use it. We all need you here to make this happen.
For those already awaken, gather and shine your light and walk your truth.
Those awakening, there is light around you. Trust and you will see it and feel it.
Fear is truly just and illusion.

Now go and grow your voice, speak up and lets stand as ONE. To take our power back and make this world a place where love rules.
Love, light and lightness your way
Diana x