Old habits die hard

Have you ever had the feeling of being in a situation and looking at it and thinking:
I should now get upset? or: I used to get upset now?
This is a very good state to be in. You asking why? As perhaps consciously or subconsciously you are in a state of balance and yes good on your way of being aware of your true self.
See, when one is asleep aka not aware what is going on, one is re-acting instead of acting. Emotions run wild and one attracts more of the same old same old, because 1) it is comfortable even though it is painful (even not perceived as such) and 2) it is a habit. YES a wonderful habit of reacting. And how annoying is that!

Now when one starts releasing old believe systems and pains, and increasingly is in a state of joy and happiness, it gets scary. Scary not because of woohoo, because one is not use to just BEing and just all is ok. Despite perhaps things in closer range should make one freak out and behave like the “old” maniac. One stays for more and more moments in: it is ok as it is and I deal with it as it comes.
THESE moments are so  precious. One ACTS out of a space of true self-awareness and out of this new opportunities and solutions occur.
Often feelings of guilty and why do I feel now so good and am just relaxed where I should be unhappy or angry etc..
Believe me, when you in the state of just BE, this great state of being on a high ~ somebody with a dark cloud hanging over your head will try to get you down.
DO NOT again DO NOT feel guilty. YOU are HAPPY. Happiness is a choice and on this journey sometimes hard work.

But as we have been living for eons in an unaware state, fear and all its emotions have become second nature to us. The days and years we have been told this is how you have to feel and do and think. We thought it is us! Sorry to disappoint you there, it is not us. Perhaps it has in a way shaped us for who we are right now, but it is not our true us.
All this screaming and shouting and kicking and and and have become a bad habit. To let them go might take a day or two (or years . . in my case LOL)
Choose to be happy and in peace and choose to let go of the habits of the past involving fear and what comes with it. It is your birthright!!!
Now for example you leaving a relationship which has not served you in a long time. It doesn’t have to be in right or wrong and bad words and feelings just because million of other relationships ended like this. YOU choose. If the other person thinks being calm and collected about the break up means another chance – their stuff. Not yours. Speak clear and calm and kind, from your place from within.
Let go of this bad habits of feeling guilty when you actually at peace. One habit and step at the time.

Am wishing you well and be kind to yourself
Love and light and lightness on this wonderful journey
Diana x
PS: of course as always as it resonates with you 

Separate To Heal Separation

As I am reading all these channeled letters and messages, it is most of the time the talk about healing our separation to God (or Source/Universe whatever resonates with you). Remembering and becoming again who we truly are.
But who are we if we not us? We are of course who we are . . but not aware of it who we truly are. This is a good one
Well, we were raised and lived for many eons in fear and all that comes with it. Anger, envy and and and. Further some of us living a life which is not even close to being mindful or the NOW.
Preferring the past (which of course cannot be changed) or the future (which we have no power over) More, we have been taught to live in a certain way otherwise we nobody and we are worth nothing and are not loved. Even though humanity is starting to awaken, and we can see this in so many little things and ways, there is still so much fear being created. Almost like frantically to prevent this incoming light to expand. Which of course cannot be stopped anymore.
Sorry, lets get back to the separation. Now this old view of live and one owns person exist. It is a habit, daily routine and just a way of living. In the past one could not even see the difference on how one gets manipulated and how many things are happening and are beyond cruelty. We thought it is ok this way, we have been fed somebody else's truth and we took it. No questions asked.
We have been living with a heavy heart I would like to say. Breathing was mare panting then taking wonderful deep breaths, Walking hollow puppets. Our soul and heart and true inner self caged in.
Been taught, that reality is what is out there. What you see and what you read. Felt lonely in a world filled with people. Angry and lost. Just cold all over the place, even though the sun was warming.
THIS is being separated. From oneself and from Source/GOD (see above please). So how now healing this separation and returning to who we really are and to God ( . . .)?
Become ONE with all that is – LOVE!

Easy, remember and feel who you are, let go of all that is not serving you and tataaaaaaa done!
(am laughing) of course it might sound a bit easier than done. But its doable!

See, there will be lots and lots of influences and energies out there, wanting to stop you from discovering it. Your ego self, because it was in charge of YOUR life and some all the others around you, thinking you are crazy believing one can create ones own reality and life. FEAR! Fear is the root of most evil I would like to say (cautiously). Fear keeps you back and boy, this is the last thing you need for separating your old self to heal the separation from your true self and Source (…)
When it come to forces from outside wanting to keep you in the old, think the best is to bless it and turn away and just walk and leave behind. This is what has worked for me the best, so far. Is not always a quick thing to do. But ulitmately I think the best. Let go and let God and just walk away from it. Peacefully!

Once you have discovered all this what you have learned and you started un-learning again and listening to your inner voice, you will find life becomes so much easier. Yes of course there will be moments of fire spitting and raging, but Hej . . show me one ego which is happy to be put on the backseat where it had the drivers seat before and tons of clashes with other beings because of the separation process. The seeing of two realties happening and not knowing for a few moments where one belongs. All good. Totally normal (whatever you can call normal ?!)

See, all this is just peeling the layers of your old self. Letting go of old habits and routines, thought patterns and belief systems. Which of course can be scary. What was the most “scariest” for me was, that I was seeing through so many things I have accepted as ok, which is not. Accepted as truth, which is not. Accepted behavior and actions, which are not. It took me into a spiral of unbelievable craziness. A spiral which I couldn’t get out at first. Then it started settling down, the dust of it all. When the separation of the old is happening and you find your true self  - it all calms down.
You will find your purpose, your own mission. The very own thing you good at in assisting to make this world a better place. Can be a small thing for you, but a HUGE thing for us all. It is so easy to support others on their mission/projects, actually all becomes so easy. No more judgment, no more anger. One truly starts living in a world created from the heart. Which is pure bliss – pure love.

Yes it may take a day or two (or perhaps longer ) to get this one separation done and heal the other. But once one has opened up ~ it is just flowing.
Some hick ups on the way, but that is ok.

So separate from the old, as it is out dated and dusty. Allow the new to shine and let go of the old.
It is time. It is time we heal and return to who we truly are. BEings of love and light. A part of God/Source (…) Nothing ever what has been made by men can ever ever replace this love.
We are BEings of such great magnificent, that for the old self it is hard to understand and treated with fear. Just let it happen, if you need help . . just call silently and you will feel it.

Will love and leave you and wishing you a wonderful time in healing and remembering.
Please take as always what resonates with you.
Thanks for your time.

Am wishing you love, light and lightness on this wonderful journey.
D xox

Relationships ~ Relationships and some more of it

I was yesterday at a friends place just quickly (as quickly we women do a quick visit ) and I had another Epiphany moment. YES another one. Well we are talking about our relationships and journeys and about releasing and and and.
We all know that a lesson will follow us till we have learned it and relationships are mirrors of our selves. Not always, but often. So I was now mind boggled for month now, that I am rather well on my journey to my true self, but am still stuck in this relationship. Challenging I can say. yes I do love this person, but know as well that he is my teacher. Becoming more and more aware of all that is, can be at some times rather frustrating.
You know being on a spiritual journey doesn’t mean we have to pick each and every situation out of proportion and OVER analyze it. As then we are in the left side of the brain and ego is talking too. Often we have to be still and be in the right side of the brain, to be able to receive the answer.
Now that my friend and I were standing at the gate (remember short visit) we came to get to the point. About how it is our choice to stay in challenging relationships and/or to move on. My point is, yes I am ready to move on and out, believe you me. BUT and this is a bit one, my concern is here, will I repeat the lesson. As I feel I am still here where I am and just not getting it. Five years later – man I am so tired! And she said: yes Diana, it is till we find out what the repetitive situation is and this is what we need to learn aka release. FIVE years, give me a break. I can see NOTHING!!! How much longer.
We came to talk about EFT and that I would need to get some own sessions before being let out to the public . So I mentioned that in certain situations I am leaving my wonderful loving self and turning into this supermonsterbitch. In rage, spiting fire, claws out . . .you name it. BAM!!!!
Epiphany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There it is!! The repetitive situation. This challenging situation repeating itself over and over again. Universe made sure it is CONSTANTLY!!! But SO in my face and SO sore!! I needed five years to get it. Meaning perhaps I am now ready to release and perhaps this is as well the reason that my new house is ONLY available mid of June. Enough time to become aware of the whole thing and start releasing and breathing and releasing.

THANK YOU SOURCE AND THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!!

Now what does it mean for all of us out here. Yes it can take time. And yes you are still a wonderful person and loving. Nothing wrong with you. It just takes as long as it takes. Set boundaries, feel them what is right for you. BE loving towards yourself. Do not over analyze. When you ready, God will send you a sign and you will know. Trust me. YOU will know. So if you walk away from your lesson today and you haven’t learned it. It will follow you. New face, new place and new everything – BUT SAME LESSON. You will feel when you ready and when the lesson is learned. Promise!

Once you start waking up, there is no return. Sorry. You have to get through this and just let go of all that what is not serving anymore. This is the reason why we attracting these Teachers (which can be a pain in the back side for some time) into our lives. To learn and to remember. Like with all we learn, sometimes we get it right away and sometimes it has to be repeated till we get it. Do not beat yourself up now and check everything what is happening if it is repeating itself. As sometimes it can be some sort of “side effect” or it can be a catalysator.

BE good to yourself and LOVE yourself. Write a gratitude journal (YIP it helps, DO DAILY)
I leave you for today and am grateful for your time. Please take only what resonates with you.

Sending you love and light and lightness.

Diana x

My Epiphany Moment Whilst Manifesting

Hi there all,
as you can see I haven’t written in a while. As I was busy letting go and releasing and letting go some more and to be honest had to remind myself at some stage: BREATH Diana BREATH!!
As I was in the midst of this all I came too understand a few things. This is perhaps why we go forward and backwards to release on a much deeper level. The deeper the better.
So as we becoming more and more aware of what is old and new reality, I have found that manifesting is a hit. Intent today – reality tomorrow! YEAH!
OH hold a second here. . . . Do you know that saying: Universe/God is testing you if you really really want it? Yes? Well I think I have come behind this one. It is not Universe nor God or Source.
It is US – OURSELVES!!
Because, let me have a share. it is just between you and I
I am right now in circumstances which are not favorable to live in and for my new self to strive. So I have now finally made an intent to move on and let fear behind. It was so pure the intent that between the first positive respond and manifesting was no time difference then lets say 48hrs?
My new home!! I have found a new home. Right now, there are still tenants in, which have to leave. Now listen, after I have heard: Yes Diana, the house is yours (this was beginning April) my first thought was (ego??) Oh . . ahm . . yes  . .OK . ..Oh I am going to move latest mid of May.
You know what has happen? Due to legal papers, all has been delayed till now the 10th May 2011.Do you get what I am saying??
It is nobody else making our delays in making our dreams come true – then us?!
Self doubt and ego holding us back, creating this subtle fear, which is so subtle that we fooling ourselves with it.

We need to understand one thing, we are beings of such powerful and magical energy that we can create whatever we want and whenever we want.
We just allowing the old reality to get us back, we allowing to slip back into this density because we doubting our capability of creating!
If there is anything you want to achieve, do it, put it out there and believe have faith and do not allow fear/ego to mess with it. As we can create the good and wonderful, we creating as well the mess we in. Consciously or subconsciously. Our egos are so good at that, that we “manipulating” others in stopping us. This is even better, so we do not have to blame ourselves.
No better moment than NOW. You want to do something? Do it NOW, not tomorrow or later – NOW!
Be aware when those self sabotaging moments occur and take them with a pinch of salt and let it go. Smile and consciously get back into the happy new self, which you know you are.
And all will work out.
God/Universe is just waiting for you to decide what and how, anytime! Your call!
So remember next time you creating? Create from the heart and ask self doubt and ego to take a hike.
Happy creating and manifesting. I am packing to move now mid of May
Please take as it resonates with you.
Hope to see you next time.

Love, light and lightness
Diana x

The cycle of life

Hope you all have had a wonderful Super Moon and Equinox. How are these energies flowing?
Lots has happened since my last blog. The light is making finally very openly its way on this earth plane. Very exciting and very reassuring. It has become liberating to speak up and to change old into new and better. Traumatic events shook the communities with the earthquake in New Zealand and the most recent one in Japan.
These all have to do as well with cycles of life. Yes the most famous ones of course are birth and death and the seven year cycles, just to name two.
What I would like to share with you today are smaller cycles and circles; which are happening on a daily basis. Have you ever looked back at certain events and lesson to be learned and learned?
This is an interesting one. A few days back a friend of mine approached me and told me, she is so excited as the cycle with work and home is coming to an end. And with every end we know – comes a new beginning. I wished her well, but to be honest at first didn’t have a clue what she meant.
Till about two days later it hit me – like a train – right into my face. It was so clear!!!
I am about as well to finish up one of mine. Now you can imagine how excited I am!
Let me explain: Each lesson or lessons you have to learn takes you on a journey and is a cycle. This journey will get you in touch with all you need to learn and remember who you truly are. Means you will meet people and will be in situations which will trigger what you need to release and let go. Yes, perhaps one could as well say you working through your Karma. So of course we are humans and have learned so many things and one of them is – do not listen to your inner voice, do not allow your instinct to guide you nor your heart. Let ego and let brain!!! Yeah. So how much fun is this (please note my underlying sarcasm).
Of course the less one listens to ones inner guidance, the more God (please whichever source resonates with you) will “nudge” you to start remembering. The less you in a way willing to learn and remember the more you will feel the “nudges” as they might be not so gentle anymore.
The lessons stay the same, but your circumstances and peoples faces will change. At first of course one might not be able to see it, till the moment one becomes the director of one owns life. This is the moment, when you start learning and releasing. Depending how deep rooted your lesson is, it might take some time to let go. But it will eventually happen. This would mean your journey is finished and you ending a cycle.
For example you started your journey off in a specific town or suburb, and as you were learning you moved to new places and met new people, but your lesson stayed the same. Once you understood what it was about and released what needed to go, you moved back to the same city or suburb.
THIS is just an example. Each souls journey of course is different.

Now what I am thinking here is that it should be possible in a state of awareness to look at ones life from outside in. Be the observer, see the patterns and shortens on cycle aka journey. As I think too, that we have different journeys in one life time. And perhaps that there could be more than one cycle at the time – overlapping. Almost like in geometric.
So it is very exiting to KNOW what is happening and just allow the flow to carry you to the finish line.
Where you of course pop the champagne to celebrate the end with a new beginning.

I think the most important part is to be gentle, as it is as it is and it takes as long as it takes. And the best part is, it is all in divine order. So – do not stress. It is OK. And you are exactly there where you suppose to be. It is exciting, even if you think at the moment: Man – not again . . .
It is a game it is a journey. Enjoy it, ease up your challenges and find things to be grateful for.

Listen to your heart and as always what resonates with you.
Thanks for your time and till next time.

Am sending you love, light and lightness on your journey
Diana x

Travelling light

 What a few days it has been. I could barely carry my body, was tired, angry and emotional.Nope – sorry . . not PMS . It began with the solar flares,then full moon and after all that – recovery. I felt like a truck hit me. BAM!!! Even doing the dishes was a mission and almost ended up in impossible.Luckily the breathing comes now again easier.
But mostly what I realized what has happened for me the past days was the following (believe me I saw it coming for a while now) I was holding on to so many things. And I was getting lost with little things which are not even worth holding on to. These things were keeping me from being in the moment and in the flow. You can feel you not in the flow when you start breathing a bit more shallow, when you get uptight and stressed. No flow = you keeping it in and blocking up. An emotional and/or energetic constipation. To get this flow going again, you actually need to feel and know that your energy and emotions are stuck. Still then it is a huffing and a chaffing. Let say for me that was and still is.

You know, I think we get stuck when our head and ego gets secretly working again. What I mean by that is, we are not making decisions coming from our heart. Again we have ignored the voice inside and let head lead. And it was a block up. See, when things like this happen you will feel and see it right away. Normally, not me of course. I had to dig and do and only once Source or God (or what ever higher power resonates with you) has kicked my backside to get my out of the goo. Which was, when I phoned the school I wanted my boy to attend  and they reasoned due to circumstances they wouldn’t accept him. BAM!!!!! All of the sudden I was light as a feather, I was clear. Just like that. I realized that for days I have been holding on to an idea and it was not right. So let it go!

Further I think for me important was to realize that forgiveness is a big key factor in letting go of old thoughts and ideas. Why I am mentioning forgiveness is, as this thought has been following me the whole day. Each e-mail, conversation, you name it reminded me of: FORGIVENESS. And now that I am looking back, lately I get those flashbacks. You know these ones, when you remember an embarrassing moment? An angry but totally useless action? When you still till today can feel the e-motion?
Exactly these I am getting. Then I take a moment. Feel the feelings again and forgive myself for whatever I did or didn’t do. Smile and say: it is OK, you didn’t know better. Send some love and let it go. Easy peasy! Sometimes if I have to do this more than once, it is depending how much I am (actually ego is)  holding on to the issue. So since quite a while now, it is almost like your laptop is doing a security check, my memory is being checked and released. I have to admit too, that often now thoughts are getting processed so quickly that I sometimes cannot even remember what happen yesterday (except it has to do with my boy)

When we embark on our journey we start letting go of all that doesn’t serve us anymore (consciously and unconsciously). Being it old ways of doing things, thinking, work and relationships, you name it. Some things get released easily and some take time. Depending how deeply routed it is, whatever needs to be released. Forgiving and therefore being compassionate makes room for love. So once we know how to forgive ourselves, we let go of heavy stuff and let love take the reign and we will be able to forgive others and love freely.
Sometimes we get pushed hard to get out of certain situations to get going. Often what keeps us back are relationships, animals and worldly goods. To let these go can be sometimes painful and confusing. Eventually when we let go, it is like a rebirth. Growing wings and learning to fly. To be able to manifest and live a life we truly want, we need to be our true essence self. We cannot manifest in somebodies else's life. We will attract the right people to join us, once we are who we are! As we cannot wake those up still sleeping. We cannot make those still asleep, see what we seeing or feel what we feeling. Your life – your journey. Their life – their journey.

Travel lite and don’t worry about anything. Have your dreams in your heart and walk. Have faith, as there might be days when you cannot see nor imagine where you going and your heart is leading you safely where you have to be. Do not worry about a thing and have faith as the TRUE needs will be met. Always. Everything else what ego tells you, you might need are desires. Nothing wrong with it, just for now maybe not what you need?! (whilst I am writing you this . .am preaching to myself).

Let go of the past, do not live in the future. Be in the NOW. Nothing else matters. Create from this space forward and let go what takes you out of your center and balance.
I would like to quote a nutty friend of mine: life is like a song. Sing and dance, it doesn’t matter how many instruments (i.e. dreams/projects) you have to sing the song. As long as you sing! So it is!
Travel light and as always what resonates with you.

Thanks for being with me and till next time.
Am sending you love, light and lightness on your journey.
Diana x

Me, Myself And I - Or Are We Schizo?

Oh boy do I love this subject. As am carrying on reading in various newsletters there are many different kind of point of views on ego and our personality.

Let me give you my five-cent worth of wisdom to this (hope you brought time with you and a glass of wine or cup of tea J)

Have you ever asked yourself out of how many “you” your personality exists?

No, it is not just you and being moody. Sorry this would be far too easy.

See, it actually worked out like this . .. . .

When we were born, we were pure, love and innocent (we still are!!!). And then the world crashed down on us. Parents’ handing down unknowingly their baggage on us, as we grew older society and circumstances nudged and poked us around till it was who we are today.

What it has to do with who we are today? Easy.

Because we were innocent and pure we were not able to understand or cope with some behavior towards others or us. So to fully understand and make us “feel” better, we invented another character to help us. This new character helped us to cope and understand why certain people behaved towards us in a certain way or circumstances surrounding us had to be, the way they were. With time, this coping mechanism became reality for us. It existed, even if it wasn’t true. All this happens till we are in our teens.

Now you can understand, why it is important that children grow up in an environment as healthy as possible. I am deliberately not mentioning NORMAL, as this tends to vary in the eye of the beholder.

So if you lets say a young adult and you had a relatively rough upbringing, wow you are blessed with lots of these characters.

How you can differentiate when who is one and when?

Observe yourself. Ever caught you being nice and easy and friendly and then are on the verge of explosion? Like a Porsche 0 – 250 in 3seconds? YIP, that’s already the two of you. Then check your handwriting. Love this one. Depending how stressed I am or in what mood (or which character) my handwriting is both soft and almost angelic and then I have the biatch handwriting. .I could make a doctor jealous, it is so unreadable.

The being moody is not only a women thing, and guys have it too. Depending on who is pressing your buttons, the characters appear.

And the biggest one of all – EGO!!!!

So it is not fun to have these different sides or characters, but get to know them. Get to know you. Do not judge and be hard on yourself, as we are all the same. Yes different in a way, but all we have these sides and we all have an ego. It is just how you make it work for you, instead of against you.

Become OK with it who you are . .no no no . .doesn’t mean let now the bitch hang out and say: duuhh take it or leave it.

Means, you can choose who you want to be. Nothing on Gods Earth can make you be someone who you don’t want to be. 

Now, where Schizo’s just let their characters hang out and are not aware when the switch is happening, we can.

Here the triple A can become kind of a savior to make a change and make it all work for us.

AWARE

Become aware who you are. What I mean by that, be in the moment in the now when something triggers an anger explosion. Become AWARE of it, next time you can act on it instead of re-act. No, I didn’t say it would work right away. This would be great. If you managed that . . . . . Phone me and please tell me how you did it. As I have been on my journey for quite a while and still discovering some selves.

Which is good, as, as soon you aware of that it is there . . .you can make a change. Hooray.

ACCEPTING

Ai, this is a tough one. For me that is. Accept who you are, the good sides or selves that of course is easy and the not so pleasant selves or sides.

You know accepting is kind of a surrender. Surrender to what is. You are who you are. A Leopard is never gong to change its spots. Some believes are so rooted inside of us that we cannot extinguish them.

Acceptance makes one compassionate and understanding. Makes one softer, especially towards oneself.

ALLOWING

This is another toughy. Has ever somebody taught you how to allow? Not me!!  On the contrary, I have been taught first the other and then you. I have the characters inside of me who keep me safe and made me understand, that if I deprive myself of good things, I will be loved and accepted.

So allow things to happen to you. Open your heart and allow it. By allowing a change will occur, a change and balance of the characters inside of you.  The biggest change will be, that you will start choosing who you want to be.

Once you OK with who you are and you decide to feed the good wolf, pat the dark wolf and allow him to walk with you. Let him be your driving force, but let the good one decide.

It is exciting and yes lots of self work and sometimes tears. But nobody said it would be easy, but they said it would be worth it.

Once you get this going, boy oh boy, you will get lighter and lighter and you will know when one of your former protector/characters kick in. Some of them with time you will be able to send in retirement.

So maybe Schizos are not so sick at all, maybe  . .mmhh who knows, maybe they more normal (whatever that means) than we are.

Today I would like not only thank you for your time, today I have discovered something again. So am grateful that I was allowed to write.

As always what resonates with you.

Be good to yourself and have fun with all your selves.

Am sending you love, light and lightness on this amazing journey.

Diana xox